Moi, moi, moi...

Friday, September 29, 2006

God bless me.

After all the trauma at the vet last week, I recovered for a day or two, and now I seem to have been infected with some sort of upper respiratory virus (probably at the vet's office from that cat on the leash). I have been sneezing and my eyes are all watery and although I don't seem to have a fever, I am definitely not my usual perky self.


Love and germy kisses, Audrey

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Here's how it started.

Nothing good ever really occurs after the cat carrier comes out of the closet.

There was the one time when I got to go and stay with Terrence and Persimmon, but it was still because my Mom was away. And there was the one time when my mom took the carrier out and then left with it empty, but she brought it back with some other cat inside, who thought she was going to be my sister. Tiny. She ate my crunchies and peed in my litter box. And she peed in other places too, where she wasn't supposed to, so, she went back where she came from, and I'm still here. Hah.

But enough about that. Usually when the carrier comes out it means I'm going to the doctor.

Last time the doctor told my Mom that I was fat and I needed to go on a diet. Also, he gave me shots. I don't mind the shots themselves, but afterwards, I just feel awfully sick from them.

So my Mom got out the carrier this time and I went to hide under the bed. But she'd tricked me and closed the doors to both bedrooms as well as the bathroom!! I tried to hide under the dining room table and the ottoman, but eventually, she stuffed me inside and off we went.

The doctor's office was busy. There was a freakish cat on a leash, an offence against nature if ever there was one. And a bunch of those nasty canine species, barking and panting and slobbering everywhere.

A very nice young lady dumped me out of my carrier and put me on a scale and announced to my Mom that I had lost a pound. Not quite Kirstie Alley or Star Jones-Reynolds-Whatever, but still, it's something. Then they stuffed my back in the carrier and we sat and waited with the slobberers for about an hour.

Well, finally they showed my Mom to an exam room and she closed the door on all the slobbering, barking creatures. But when she opened the zipper on my carrier, I stayed put, which is unusual for me.

The doctor had to help my Mom to dump me out of the carrier onto the cold, metal table. She poked and prodded and listened and gave me some shots, which weren't too bad. Then she looked in my ears.

Now my Mom has been noticing for a few months that I seemed to have a bit of an ear wax issue, but she thought it was just one of my quirks. The doctor held me down and proceeded to scoop an enormous amount of disgusting brown stuff out of my ears with gigantic Q-tips. Then she squirted some oily stuff into my ears and rubbed it around. She went off somewhere else in the office and returned a few minutes later to announce excitedly that my ears were "Teeming with BACTERIA!" She made it sound like she had just discovered the can opener or something else really important.

Of course my Mom was horrified, but the worst was yet to come. This is what I am forced to suffer each day. My Mom sneaks up on me, holds me down, and squirts this nasty, oily goo into my ears.

And I had my usual nasty reaction to the shots...

It may be difficult for anyone who does not live with me, to appreciate the significance of this photo. Generally, upon being deposited in the bowl, my food does not remain there more than a minute or so.

I spent two days going back and forth between the sofa and underneath the bed. I had a fever, watery eyes, and a general aura of puny-ness and misery that would have been enough to inspire sympathy in even the coldest of hearts. I didn't eat and my mom is pretty sure I didn't even drink any water.

I really was very near to death. Or at least I thought I was.

Fortunately, I have now recovered almost to normal. Only the indignity of the ear ointment persists.

Stupid doctor.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

...but I am sticking my tongue out at him anyway.

Love, Audrey

Another picture of Fluffy...

...sent by his Mom.

He looks more like his dignified self in this one.

I am jealous that I don't have such a nice deck and backyard to hang out on/in.

Love, Audrey